I've never been this deeply involved with someone. Ever. That's saying a lot, considering I've been in love twice before. There was the first love with Josh. I know I will never forget that. And then there was Eldon. I really loved Eldon. When he told me he was in love with someone else, it completely tore me apart. Left deeper wounds than I thought were there.
It still hurts today.
He shattered my heart, changed my outlook on love, changed my life.
It wasn't too long after that that I met Jon. I was a complete mess, if I remember correctly. It's hard to remember that part of my life. I was drunk almost every day for a few months straight. Partying, numbing myself. I actually wasn't aware that I was miserable. I was so busy numbing out and distracting myself that I didn't realize I needed help.
There was something about Jon that I was drawn to. I saw something underneath his sense of humor and I wanted to find out what it was.
Two years (or something like that) later, here we are-
He is my everything. I'm in love with him. More deeply than I ever thought possible. Somehow, somewhere in those two years, he managed to sneak into my heart. Now I hear his whispers against my hears, about how beautiful I am, how I'm an angel.
Because I care for him as much as I do, I'm terrified.
Sure, I'm scared of getting a broken heart. But I've had a broken heart before, I know I would survive.
What I'm honestly terrified of...is just losing him. He is the only soul on this planet that really truly knows me. He is the only person who knows every single one of my secrets, and accepts me for it.
He's my best friend.
I never want to lose that
I called my voice mail and finally checked all of my fucking messages. One of them was just adorable though.
"Hey Becki. It's your boyfriend. I was just calling to tell you I love you...and I hope you're having fun on your trip. I wish you were here. It's where you belong. So I can make you happy. I love you. Good night."
I
He's so effing perfect it makes me insane.
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