First Kiss

When I was walking up to the coffee shop for this blind date, I was praying under my breath that I would get there first. That way I could compose myself, make sure I don't look like total shit, and maybe send a picture of my outfit to Jacob. He totally wanted to see how hot I was. I was lookin good. I saw him through the glass and instantly knew it was him. His jawline wasn't as strong as the pictures suggested and his manner was sooooo much nerdier. SO MUCH. Just in those five seconds I could tell this guy was ULTRAGEEK.

I walked in the door and when he looked up, he jumped out of his chair and enveloped me in a giant hug. Hugging is good. He was taller than I thought he would be. He took my face in his hands and kissed me. Right then and there.

Oh, wow, okay. Wait...what the fuck is he doing with his lips?! IS THIS A KISS??! IS HE KISSING ME?!?! What the hell?!?

Needless to say, I wasn't impressed with his kissing skills. And I don't know why, but whenever I kiss a guy for the first time, I'm expecting music to start playing in the background, I'm expecting the guy to expertly hold the back of my head in that spot that makes my knees go weak. I expect his lips to just know mine already in this weird cosmic way. I expect mountains to move, unicorns to come out of fucking no where, and cupid comes out with a bow and arrow and BOOM next thing I know I'm married and living happily ever after.

My life never works like that.

Ten was not...well he wasn't a ten. But me, being the great awesome kisser I am, adapted to his kissing style. I wanted my body to catch fire, but it didn't. So when the kiss ended he just stood there stroking my hair, telling me how he'd waited so long to kiss me.

I feel awkward as fuck at this point.
How do I tell someone, "Holy shit. You're so nerdy to the point where it's scary."?

As far as first kisses go....this was not good. At all.

If you're curious as to who the best kisser ever was...well I was...let's see...16 years old. He had long...blood/blonde hair. He loved metal and grand theft auto. But he was the most intelligent person I'd ever met. And god damn, did I mention he was gorgeous? He was gorgeous. Anyways. I was crushin in him for awhile. We were hanging out pretty consistently. I finally told him that I was crushin.
I go over to his house to watch American Beauty. I think that's what it's called.
We were laying on his huge ass bed, watching this amazing movie. There was a glitch in the movie and I crawled over him to fix it, and when I was crawling back, he just sat up, grabbed my face and kissed me.
It was perfection.
THERE WAS MUSIC PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND FOR CHRIST'S SAKES. My whole body caught fire. I felt the tingles run from my lips all the way down to my toes. And when his tongue brushed against my lips, oh dear god help me. I just about lost myself.
We ended up making out. Good hell. Oh my god. Just remembering it....mmmmm.
Wow.
It was the hottest, most romantic moment in my life.
Turns out, he didn't really feel that way about me.
We have this totally romantic and hot moment and he didn't feel it?! How could you have not felt my body catch on fire?! I thought I would burn the whole mother fucking house down, and he didn't feel a smidgen of romance towards me? I was pretty heartbroken. I think I still am. I've never had a kiss like that in my life and sometimes I wonder if I'll ever catch fire again.