First Blog

If you want to read a blog that has pretty poems and nice recipes or cute stories, this is not the blog for you.

I got tired of hiding.
This blog is going to be full of ugly confessions.
I am a selfish, greedy, confused nineteen year old girl.
I needed a place to write. A place to be my complete self.

I wanted to name myself after a my favorite candy. But I guess AirHeads wouldn't be very flattering to myself. So then I thought 'Twix'. But that just sounds stupid. So does 'Luckie'. I realized that already. I know I picked a stupid fake name for myself, but I'm sticking with it anyways.

I'm in a relationship. We'll pretend his name is...hmmm....Fish. I like fish. Haha.
I was spending the night at his house last night. I lay there next to him, listening to his heavy breathing. I wasn't sleeping. I was crying. He'd told me to wake him up if I couldn't sleep. No way was I going to wake him up saying, "Fish, I'm sorry but I've been hiding things from you and keeping secrets. That's why I'm crying and that's why I can't sleep at nights."
If I tell him, I'll hurt him.
If I don't tell him, I'll hurt him.
I am selfish.
I am scared.