Saturday, January 28, 2012

Oh Jesus

It's getting fucking awkward as hell having Jerry flirting with me again. It makes it even worse because whenever my family brings him up, it's usually about how my parents wish I had married him. It makes it weird because I can always talk to Jerry about spiritual stuff. I mean we're both pretty big on Jesus and born again Christian stuff.
And then Jerry busts out this flirtatious stuff, the whole mentioning me naked kind of freaked me out. I love Jerry to death and I love being friends with him, but that is seriously all I want from his is friendship. Usually I'm all for flirting, but Jerry and I ended our relationship in a pretty ugly way, so that relationship needs to stay in the past where it belongs.
Jerry told me that God told him that the reason I have nightmares is because God gives me prophetic dreams, so that's where the enemy attacks. Okay, sure that makes sense. If you're NOT talking about me. Because I'm sorry, but I am the last person that God would give that kind of gift to. What the hell am I gonna do with a prophetic dream, I mean really. It's way over my head, and i don't have enough faith for it. No matter how much I wanna be like a super Christian and love the bible and all that stuff, I feel like I'm faking it every time.
Then when Jerry tells me about this 'gift' that God gave me and then turns around and flirts with me, it makes me question his own spirituality and I have no idea if he even knows what he's talking about or if maybe he's just making guess or I don't know.

I wish I could talk to Jonathan about this kind of stuff, but every time I try it gets a little...awkward I guess. Not in a totally bad way. But like....I dunno I feel crazy or stupid when I bring it up. Like we can't talk about super spiritual stuff. Maybe because I'm a little more spiritual than him or...damn I don't know. It's something that's important to me though.

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