Nothing

Today I looked in the mirror and wished I wasn't living anymore.

I'm so depressed. I feel heavy. I can't move anymore.
I can't do anything anymore.

I can only fake a smile for so long.

Why am I alive? I have nothing going for me.
My family barely notices me.
My friends don't know me.
And my own boyfriend is so far away that it kills me.

I don't want to be alive anymore.
Not that I would off myself, I'm not fucking stupid.
I'm just tired of being waste and feeling like I'm nobody and nothing.
I'm tired of feeling so depressed, so heavy.
I'm tired of being so sad that I'm beyond tears.
I'm tired of being tired.
I'm even too tired to get help.