Friday, November 18, 2011

So I was surfing webmd.com, looking at dental health shit, right? They have these links all over the website like, 'Check out how to get rid of bad breath' or 'Trouble sleeping? Diagnose yourself' and stuff like that. So I clicked on one and ended up surfing all kinds of weird shit. Next thing I knew, I saw a link that pertained to what I like to call 'my problem'. Because I don't like talking about it. Ever. For fucks sakes, I can't even spell it out in my own diary because I'm always upset about it.

So when I'm reading all that shit, it tells me that seeing a doctor would be best because if it goes untreated I could get cervical cancer. AWESOME. I've only been ignoring it for almost three years. Mother fucking fuck fuck. I'm not saying I think I have cancer, but this means I need to go see a doctor. I can't do that.

I can't go see a doctor because my family doesn't have enough money for even a check up right now. Last week, we had NO food in the fridge except for pickles, squash, mayo, and butter. My parents are still trying to make ends meet. Not only that, but how do I tell my mom? "Oh yeah, hey mom? If I don't go to the doctor, I'll get cancer. We should probably go." or "Mom? Yeah. I had sex with an asshole three years ago and he gave me an STD which I still haven't taken care of. Will you help me out?"

And people wonder why I hate sex.

Fuck that. Fuck everything. This isn't fucking fair.

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